Tennessee Williams and New Orleans Literary Festival (TWFest24)

I turn 50 years old at the end of this month. There was a time that I never thought I'd make it to 50 - either because of my own reckless lifestyle or my serious bouts of depression and anxiety. But here I am, ready to tackle the next 50 years ;)

To celebrate, my husband asked me what I wanted to do. And since he knows me so well, he asked me where I wanted to go. After a short time as foster parents, we didn't have the luxury of just picking up and getting away whenever we wanted. We were due for a getaway.

I did some research and wanted to incorporate writing into it, too. I have gotten back into my writing, journaling, and now with the memoir coming out this December - just back into the writing world in general. After having read Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, I have always wanted to go to New Orleans. They have an annual Tennessee Williams festival that happens around my birthday so it was decided - we are going to a literary festival in New Orleans!

(this is an older image, but I loved the colors and wanted to use it!)

I honestly don't know much about Tennessee Williams, other than a street car named Desire.  Honestly, it's going to be quite a treat because they have not only writer's craft sessions, but also writing marathons!

A writing marathon is when "writers venture out in small groups to eat, drink, and write their way across the city, stopping to share their writing before moving to their next adventure." I can't wait to journal and experience everything that New Orleans has to offer. It seems like it's vibrant and full of witchy wonderfulness that I can't wait to experience! 

Mark, my husband, is okay with the walking with me - but he said he's not going to write. Journaling isn't necessarily his thing. haha. 

Anyway, we signed up for everything from the walking tours to the literary discussion "Legends of burlesque" and then of course the music and the eating, too!

I occasionally still battle with those feelings of self-doubt, but I'm here and ready to tackle the next part of my life and this week - New Orleans!

I'll report back, but until then have you ever been to New Orleans? What was it like?

Until next time,

h

AI inspiration for my visual content?

Early on in the process my publisher told me that social media is basically a must if anyone is to know anything about the book and what it's about. It sort of gets the word out that, "hey, there's a cool book coming your way and follow me for more info!"

I knew this going in. I also knew that having visual elements would help to make the message come across better than just written words. So I downloaded Canva and I set to work to create some content that was visually appealing. 

Now, I do have Photoshop and the Adobe suite that I purchase for my photography work, but I find that Canva is easy to use and I only have to use the free version so far. But it has a LOT of capabilities if you decide to go with the paid version.

One of the things I was missing were photos of things that related to my book. Like pole activities, poverty, strict religion - those things are sort of hard to put into images. Especially images I don't have. So I decided to try out Adobe Firefly and see what their visual AI could do for me.

Let me just say - we are a long way from them taking over the world. lol.

The first thing that Firefly asks is for you to put in some key words. So I put in "image using elements of pole dancing" And this is what came out of it - kind of terrifying? What's with the fuzzy toothbrush on the pole? 

Anytime I added the word "stripper" or "sex industry" or "exotic dancer" it came up with an error code. Those are "forbidden" words in some online spaces. (I have already been through a few iterations of having my account shut down using the word stripper, exotic dancer, etc. But that's a whole other conversation)

So I decided to change it up and added the word "religion" to the request. Apparently, flowing curtains and lakesides are more religious.

I thought what would it do if I entered in the word "poverty" - which was a huge contributor and driver in my book. This is the result of that. Not quite what I envisioned for my own personal story.  

The next step was to add an image of my own. Apparently AI works better if you have an input to provide some direction. So I took one of my own pole dance images and gave it some inspiration. I also added the word "wild parties" to stay away from pole dance studios and more toward strip clubs. 

Here's the result of that:

We are getting closer! Adding the word "religion" now. But how is she holding herself up there? 

And then this was just for fun. Nice heels and what happened to his leg? lmao!

Anyway, that's my experience trying to find some images to use for my social media. I did end up finding one that worked and it's now the cover for my personal FB page. 

While I would never use AI to write a book, I have no problem testing its limits and seeing what it can do for me for social media, marketing, etc. I had fun with it and thought I would share the results here.

Have you ventured into the world of AI? What have you considered when using it? Some folks are afraid of world domination and takeover - what are your thoughts?

Anyway, until next time,

H

Workout routine is just that...a routine.

My love/hate journey with weight loss/fitness/health and well-being has been going on for years. I have a tendency to gain a lot of weight, decide I'm not happy with the weight and the toll it's having on my health, lose the weight, and then somehow end up back to square one.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who goes through this see-saw method of health routine and maintenance (or lack thereof). I saw a meme that said nothing tastes as good as skinny feels and I bet they have never sat down at a Los Tres and got stuffed on the chips/queso/salsa combo they bring out at the start of the meal. 

All that being said, I'm on the health upswing again and I've lost 25 pounds since last summer. It's thru a combination of exercise, watching what I eat, and how often I eat. I will tell you that I DO feel better when I weigh less - and that's not an indication everyone should lose weight. For me, it's obvious that I have less joint pain and better mobility if I keep moving.

I did not accomplish this alone. I use a variety of apps and videos to help me along the way. Will I have to use/subscribe to them forever? I don't think so. I hope not. But for now, it's helping me to be accountable and set new goals and routines.

I've been meal prepping using the app listed here in one of my previous blog posts. Plan to Eat has been so helpful for me to make sure I know what I'm going to eat during the week - breakfast, lunch and dinner. (*Full transparency: If you use the link in my previous blog post, I will receive credit for it)

If I don't plan ahead that's when I run into issues with eating whatever I can, whenever I can.

For exercise, I  walk every day (aim for 10,000 steps) and no I don't make it to 10k every day. It's especially difficult in the winter. But I try. I bought an under the desk treadmill on TikTok so I can walk while I'm working from home and I try to take walks on my breaks even if it's cold outside. 

I also do weight lifting. I don't lift heavy, but I definitely lift enough to feel it. I do that two or three days a week and I am on of those people who wakes up at 5 am to get it done and over with. It's the only way that works for me. I used to do Beachbody, but I decided there were enough free programs out there online. I use Caroline Girvan, Juice and Toya, and Fit by Mik. I find that these are just enough for me to handle timewise and ability-wise. I rotate between them so I don't get bored. 

I use My Fitness Pal - and I pay for the subscription. It just makes it easier for me to log my food and actually see what I'm eating. It makes me think about whether or not I have enough calories left over for the day to have those extra snacks or a candy bar. Let's be honest, the only way for me to lose weight is to be in a calorie deficit. There's no other way for me. 

Bottomline, I think routine is a key for me. It helps me stay sane and keeps me on track. Will I ever fall off the wagon again and go rogue with the McDonald's French Fries and chicken McNuggets? Who knows. I'm not going to judge myself either way. It's a journey. But the older I get I'm realizing it is harder on my body in every way when I don't prioritize my health. 

What do you do to maintain your health? Are there any routines that help you? 

Talk soon,

H

Disclaimer: Check with your doctor before beginning any exercise/fitness/wellness program. 

Footwear and feet stuff

As soon as I decided to write about my issues with my feet and aging, I thought, "Oh no, here come the foot fetish guys." And if you don't know what I mean, just mention the word "bunion" or "toes" in a post on X, and almost invariably, you'll get some dude with an auto-follow asking "wyd" or something like this.

I'm not shaming anyone who's into that. I'm just saying that there's a time and a place, and this isn’t either one of them when I talk about my feet and what's happening to them now that I'm 50 years old.

Having worn very high heels for most of my 20s and then business office heels for the rest of the time, my poor feet have suffered. 😞 Of course, the other side of the coin is that walking in heels is ACTUALLY good for you! But I have developed bunions on both feet, particularly on my large toes, and they can be painful, especially during the cold winter months.

I went to see my podiatrist, Dr. Papson in East Lansing, and I highly recommend him. We discussed my options, and we are going to start with less invasive procedures first. This means I had to have orthotics made for my shoes. I don't mind them, but they also limit me in terms of what shoes I can wear.

I had to say goodbye to my Steve Madden pink sparkly heels - sad face.

Now, I usually wear flats in some form. However, I still have heels that I'll wear occasionally; I just have to accept that my feet will be sore the next day.

Gone are the days of not even caring about what I put on my feet or the consequences for the next day. I never thought I'd reach the point where I had to be mindful of my footwear.

Anyway, that's the story behind my #FridayFootwear hashtag. Shoes have become a daily consideration for me, and I'm trying to find a balance between sexy and comfortable. And no, I won't be posting any photos of my feet (see the post above! Haha) unless you pay me. (Just kidding.)

Take care,

H

Commissioned art work

I stumbled upon a post on Twitter recently featuring a captivating piece of artwork titled "On the blue-grey leather sofa" by Anders Zorn, 1916 (from a private collection).

In a light-hearted jest, I quipped that I'd be willing to pay someone to create a similar masterpiece for me. However, I'm well aware of the type of model I'd make for painters or artists, and it's not exactly a flattering portrayal.

Back in my twenties, I crossed paths with a gentleman, likely in his forties or fifties—although I'm notoriously bad at guessing ages. He was an artist, and a rather talented one at that. His livelihood came from his art, which ranged from individual paintings to entire murals adorning businesses around Lansing. I found it mesmerizing that someone could sustain themselves solely through their artistic endeavors.

Among his repertoire were surreal depictions of partially animalistic, naked women—not unlike the concept of the 80s show "Manimal," but with a modern twist. It was in this context that I found myself posing, if memory serves me right, as a leopard perched in a tree. However, my inability to remain still prompted the artist to opt for capturing my likeness through photographs rather than sketches (he said he would rather paint me from a photograph than real life). I consented without hesitation at the time, yet I never got to see the resulting portrait or the film from that photoshoot. (For the record, if you ever did catch a glimpse of it, no, you didn't.)

On another occasion, I volunteered at the local community center to pose as a 1920s flapper girl for a group of artists. I was fully clothed, mind you, and they even provided me with an extensive wardrobe to truly embody the era. Initially, it was a blast, but my restlessness soon kicked in. Despite their best efforts, the artists struggled to keep me still, prompting reminders and occasional breaks. My fidgeting and constant movement left me wishing for something—anything—to occupy myself, other than awkwardly making eye contact with those attempting to capture my likeness on canvas.

Here is a photo from that event, showcasing my then-blonde locks, for those who may have forgotten or never knew me during that phase.

In essence, I've come to the conclusion that lounging on a chaise and posing for an extended period isn't quite my forte. However, the notion of reclining in a sleeping pose and actually dozing off while someone paints or draws me awake... now, that's an idea worth considering.

Until next time,

-H

Book review(s) - REPOST

This post is reposted from 12/21/2014. I feel like this is when it started for me - the desire to share my story and feel like I am entitled to talk about my past. I came across this old draft and decided to rerun it. I hope you enjoy!

Last week, on the way to work, I was listening to the Moth podcast and one of the storytellers was Jillian Lauren. She was talking about the time in her life when she and her husband (the guy who is in the band Weezer, Scott Shriner) went to adopt their son from another country.
Her story was compelling to me, so I did some research online and found out she is a writer.

I have read both her novels in the span of less than a week. When that happens, it prompts me to write a review so here it goes.

Book 1: Some Girls

This one is a memoir, and it details her time as a girl in a harem (I know, I totally did not know those even existed any more).  Even more shocking is they come here, to America, and hire girls to go there (in this case "there" is Borneo).

So she is 18 years old and gets whisked away over to another country to be part of a harem for the Sultan of Brunei's youngest brother, Prince Jefri. She is told she will be paid $20,000 for two weeks of her time. This memoir discusses her life when she is over there, and how she is trying to find herself, but keeps getting lost along the way.

She was adopted and she has this fairy tale belief that her "real" mother was a ballerina who gave her up to pursue her career as a professional ballerina. This discusses her thoughts about that, and her relationship with her adoptive parents. She is strong-willed and jumps off the cliff so many times. It's about her mistakes and her vulnerabilities. She's very open about her life and that draws you in.

I like the detail she goes into, and I keep forgetting she's just 18/19 years old when all this is happening to her - she's a baby really. She did write while she was over there, to sort of pass the time by, and this ended up being helpful, I'm sure, when she decided to write the book.

I really enjoyed this book. If you don't like drugs, the sex industry, or cussing - I wouldn't recommend it - it's not your thing. But if you enjoy a story about a girl who pulls herself up and stays authentic to who she is, then this is a good one.

Book 2: Pretty

Same author, fiction. This main character is named Bebe (Beth) and she is an exotic dancer. One night, something tragic happens to her and her boyfriend, and her life is forever changed.

Most of the story is set in the rehab house called Serenity where she is staying to get clean. But the vivid description of the other girls in the house and the cosmetology school where she's working to get her license are descriptive and draw you in to the story.

Sometimes, I feel when things go wrong, they go really wrong for a while. And it feels like maybe it will never be right again. In this story, you can see the wrong happening, one thing after another, and some of it is Bebe's fault (she had control over it) and some of it isn't. I feel like it's the human condition to constantly keep fighting to stay above water and this book is about one of those swims.

So I hope those two books may bring some reading pleasure to anyone enjoying time off over the holiday. You can hear both of Lauren's Moth pod-casts here (the one for her son's adoption and the one discussing her trip to Borneo), and her website is www.jillianlauren.com.

Let me know if you decide to read these (I got them from Overdrive so I was able to check them out at my library free of charge), and what your thoughts are!

Happy Reading,
-H

Book news & other things

So much for my aspirations of writing weekly in a blog. How do people manage this? It's challenging to discern what readers actually want to hear from me (I'm not even certain if anyone is reading this). So, I suppose I'll approach it more as a diary than anything else.

A couple of weeks ago, a publisher contacted me expressing interest in my book. It wasn't entirely unexpected. I had reached a point in my life where I pondered, "What am I going to do with myself?" and found myself directionless. Prior to and somewhat during COVID-19, I had been querying agents about the book, with a few requesting the full manuscript, but nothing materialized. Life intervened, as it does, and I took a step back.

As some of you may be aware, I was a foster parent for about a year and a half, and my life wasn't my own during that time. I had dedicated myself entirely to caring for two young children. They have since returned to their parents, leaving me once again uncertain about my path in life.

So, as a last resort, I decided to submit my manuscript directly to a publisher instead of through an agent. The publisher had been recommended to me by an editor who had reviewed my manuscript before submission.

I thought to myself, "If this doesn't work—if they don't want it—then it's back to the drawing board, and I'll have to figure out my future in another way." So, I sent it off and received a response. Here's a snippet from John, the publisher, after he read my manuscript:

"Let me extend a warm welcome back. Welcome back from the edge, from the dungeons. I'm proud of you for getting clean and for writing this book. The most exciting aspect, I believe, is how you can use the book to reach and help young women going through similar experiences."

After several discussions, a Zoom call, and negotiations, my story has found a home with Koehler Books/Koehler Studios, and I couldn't be happier.

Naturally, I had to celebrate. Last weekend, my sister and I headed to Ann Arbor to take senior photos of my nephew. We took them at the Matthaei Botanical Gardens on N Dixboro Road in Ann Arbor. It is a very calming place - and super warm in there despite the cold weather. I may want to go back when it's nice outside to see the outdoor part. 

We ended up spending the night with my youngest daughter at her place while she's in grad school at U of M. 

We went out to dinner at Mani Osteria (pretty decent food - I guess they have great pizza) and the bar (a place in a downstairs part of a building called LoFi) and let me tell you—I can't hang like I used to. I also lost my "Michigan Mom" sweatshirt there. :(

Anyway, I'm working on a new website, so stay tuned for that. And there's more news to come from the book front as we progress toward the publication date of December 10, 2024. 

Until next time!

-H

Birthday adventures

We celebrated my grandson‘s second birthday yesterday at Chuck E. Cheese. He turned 2 earlier this month, but this is the time we found that worked best for everyone to celebrate.

It’s ironic that we are celebrating at Chuck E. Cheese because this is where I used to take his mother for her birthday parties, and she’s almost 30 now.

It’s hard to believe this place is still around, but it looks much different. There’s a TV screen on the floor that’s interactive, and there are no longer any of the tubes that you can crawl around in (where your kids used to go and hide when it was time to leave🙃) I’m sort of glad those tubes are gone because they used to just smell like pee and distress. 

Now they have a Chuck E Cheese wind tunnel and since my grandson was afraid to go in by himself, guess who was nominated? 😵‍💫 Someone had the brilliant idea to catch the tickets in my shirt and I was still finding them 15 minutes later. 

We had a fun time celebrating. It’s so amazing to watch him grow and yes, the years do go by far too quickly. 

Until next time, Mr. Cheese. 

-H

The Pamela Anderson documentary

Last night, I finished watching the Pamela Anderson documentary on Netflix, titled "Pamela: A Love Story." I would definitely rate it an 8 out of 10. I find her to be relatable in many ways.

What stood out to me is that she's done with wearing makeup full-time (she's in her 50s), and I feel like I've sort of adopted that way of thinking, too. I used to wear makeup all the time and then suddenly, no thanks. I eventually only wore minimal makeup, and then a bit more when I went out at night on weekends. I even went through a stage where I was selling it—quite recently, in fact, but it was always mostly about skincare for me. However, it's the makeup that sells.

I also appreciated her story about her abusive relationship with Tommy (from Motley Crue). They had a tumultuous relationship, and she had two kids with him, Brandon and Dylan, both of whom are the spitting image of Tommy. But she never stuck around after the abuse started, and I admire that about her.

Whenever I think of blonde bombshells, Marilyn Monroe or Anna Nicole Smith comes to mind, both of whom had lives that ended far too early and had tragic lifestyles. I had never thought much of Pamela Anderson until now, and I think she's intelligent, caring, and has a great story to share.

Anyway, if you're looking for something to watch, I think it's a great documentary. Have you had a chance to watch it? What were your takeaways?

Have a great weekend.

Balancing work and home

I've been mandated at my day job to work from the office at least two days a week. This puts a damper on my morning workout routine, and I have to wake up a bit earlier to squeeze in a workout. Then, I have to rush around to allow myself at least a half-hour, accounting for traffic and weather, to get to the office.

While I don't particularly enjoy working in person all the time, I realize I am fortunate compared to some colleagues who leave home at 5 am just to drive in.

That being said, I believe there is some benefit to finding ways to streamline and make my home life a bit easier, especially on the days I work in the office.

One of the tools I use is an app called Plan to Eat. It is SUPER helpful for me because I can plan my meals for the week, create a schedule, and it even generates a grocery list for me. * FYI, if you click the link and sign up we both get credit for it. :)

Since last July, I've lost 25 lbs, and I'm slowly but surely trying to find ways to meal prep so that I'm less likely to rely on the vending machine at work. I find this app helps me, along with My Fitness Pal - Premium.

Anyway, I thought I'd share my thoughts on things that have worked for me since going back to the office a couple of days a week.

Stay warm and be well. H

News coming...soon?

Thrilled to share the exciting news that I might be on the brink of a book contract! While the deal isn't inked yet, the anticipation is building, with a promising phone call on the horizon.

As part of this exciting journey, I'll be reentering the realm of social media after a brief hiatus. Admittedly, the prospect is a bit daunting, but I'm gearing up for the challenge.

Here's to a prosperous and successful 2024 – may it be a year filled with literary achievements and exciting new ventures! 📚✨